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This is going to be a self-indulgent rant. Consider your self forewarned. Oh, if you are my BFF or a member of my family who has somehow ended up here, STOP reading this now.
Child-free and without many relatives and none in Maine, we are typical "orphans" on holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. I find the season immensely depressing. But I have never really enjoyed much of the holidays around my family. Since no one in my family reads what I write I have no fear they will read this. And, there is the rub. There is a distinct cry for my presence but once there I become invisible.
We don't share any interests, or location. They are religious; I am not at all religious. One of my sisters believes the highway between our houses only goes one way. She has never even seen my house. And, the last time I visited, her Cook made foods I could not eat with out spontaneous combustion! Yay! I had to go out and buy something Gluten Free to eat.
My mother told me she can't possibly come north at that time of year. But she is going to my other sister's in a city at the same latitude, with just a little less snow and cold than the North pole. Honestly it is warmer here on the coast.
So, droning in on in self pity we have come to make our own family. I have invited a friend's son alone on the right coast to visit but haven't heard back. My BFF's foreign student at the local college has invited him and doesn't think he would be comfortable with other people.
It all leads me to believe that between my dietary restrictions and my, what must not be winning, personality, I am a pariah (everyone adores my husband).
So, we can go out or I can cook everything and take to DHs' husband on the beach. What would you do? Drive 5 hours to be with family that only cares about me when I am not there and then only because it is seemly, make dinner for a women who loves both of us very much and who will eat a chicken pot pie and not think a thing about it as to her, she says, one day is the same as another. Or we can go out to a nice restaurant and have a lovely meal and no cleaning up after.
My mother wants us in Florida at Christmas which is not an attractive option.
The problem with holidays is that they carry a lot of this is how it ought to be and it never is. No matter what I do or say, part of me wants that perfect family spirit. But, it never works out.
Do you have similar holiday issues? What do you do?
