No Drama Please

THIS IS SO NOT ME! (Photo credit: wistechcolleges)

When my mother visits my sisters she has her communities close by and her things all about her.  When she visits here she's got just me and my life to fiddle at.  Now, I lead a quiet and somewhat unsocial life in the country.  This leads to someone bored who likes things her way coming up against someone who likes things my way: me! 

I like peace and quiet she likes drama. She and I have grossly divergent views on just about everything from what happened in the 1960s to whether a house set at 85°F is warm. She is religious to the point of assuming everyone else is, I am not.

Mom has always liked order and I never have been able to maintain her type of order.  The things I do in my yard or house call for thinking like me or being physically strong.  Sometimes they just call for putting things in the slots where my labels say to put them or following simple instructions to use a particular machine like an upholstery cleaner or a washing machine different from hers.  At 83 she is not strong, refuses to wear the glasses required to read anything other than a book, and has no interest in learning to use anything different.  Therefore there is little or nothing for her to do.  Since she won't willingly drive our cars and doesn't know her way around because she has an even worse sense of direction than I do, she can't go anywhere without me.

This means the time I would spend writing here is being spent doing things with Mom so she doesn't feel as if there is really nothing to do but read or watch TV. I also cannot do the garden, workout or do anything I normally would.

Some of this is my reactions to her pushing my buttons or just being her, and the rest is just logistics.

This is a long way to say I've got nothing for you that is new and exciting.  Many thanks for your indulgence.

Ruin it for Everyone Else (or even just me) What's Appropriate?

Barry Goyette  Image via Wikipedia

RANT ALERT:

Interesting Show:

Last night my husband and I went to see a show at a wonderful new performing arts center in Westbrook, Maine at their middle school.  Beautiful location and very comfortable seats.  Terrible parking and they did not allow seating until 15 minutes before curtain which delayed the curtain a half hour. And, no traffic handling before or after.  Also, no signs for the location, entrance or parking.  We purchased the tickets at a charity auction and paid twice the price.

The dance troupe was CiRCA, very skilled, very acrobatic, modern dance.  Because of the potential distraction and potential danger to the dancers, no photography or late entry was allowed.  How precarious?  Let's say, I hope they travel with an orthopedic surgeon, or at least an osteopath; joints are not intended to go backwards under pressure and extension.

Having dislocated a shoulder and sprained my back I found parts a bit nauseating.  Here's how it was describes in the publicity:

Combining “astonishing physical mastery” and “poetic resonance” (New York Times) with playful sensuality, Australia’s CiRCA breaks out of the big top to create a bold new vision of circus as a delightful, provocative and contemporary art form.  Over the course of 80 intense minutes, the streamlined troupe of seven moves from highly connected acrobatic and tumbling sequences through fast-paced intricate scenes to a haunting finale. ...CiRCA’s boundary-pushing work plumbs the philosophical depths where cirque and dance collide. thevalleyvoice.org

Brain Dead Parenting:

We had seats in the right orchestra. A family group of parents, aunts, grandparents and several  children under eight sat in the row behind us and the seats to my right.  Not just children but very young children, with some disorder that prevents any form of stillness, quiet or discipline.  It also seems the parents were incapable of restraining, training or otherwise doing anything with their children. I was elbowed and kicked throughout. At one point I turned to the cjhild next to me and gently but sternly said, you have to stop hitting me. It quieted him down some for two minutes.

As a kid we were not allowed to move or speak at performances because it was rude and inconsiderate, therefore, until we could still ourselves, my parents got babysitters or they did not go. They did not subject other people to my bad behavior. Nor would our parents have split us up between rows and sat us next to non-family members so the mother and grandmother could sit together.  The father was sitting next to the child who was seated next to me and not once, NOT ONCE, did he put his arm around the child next to me to reign him into an appropriate personal space. The child was even allowed to put his feet on the seat so he could kneel. Not once did the parent behind me stop the child behind me from kicking my seat or speaking throughout the entire show.  AND the mother's cell phone went off in one of her purses and it took her 30 seconds to find it.

Taking a child who is not old enough to a show is just rude.  These kids ruined my evening.

Low Patience Level:

I am the first to admit that I am not a child person. I barely have the patience for my cats. BUT, you do not brig hyper-active or very young children to a performance at night when they are not able to sit still for more than a minute and ruin the performance for others.  Not only were the parents of the children useless, the grandparents must not have had any standards either.

There are things a parent can't avoid and for which other people need to be patience.  Flying is an example.  I know you can't make a baby stop crying. And, I know you have to fly places. I don't like it but I get it.  But, nothing forces you to take children to a show and ruin my experience.

Appropriate Venue:

Had I imagined this was a performance even appropriate for children, I would not have bought tickets.  The troupe is called "sexy" in some of the promotional material.  And, while they are acrobatic and may have been born of the concept of the circus it was a DANCE not a circus, not even a ballet.  The music was not melodic, there was no story told. It was Twyla Tharp meets Cirq Du Soleil. At one point a performer performed yogic nasal threading with a red balloon. There was no makeup, costuming, or, except for a pair of sparkly stilettos a female dancer walked all over a man with and that red nasal lavage balloon, color.  And, the stilettos were definitely F@@K ME shoes.

It I imagined these parents could read I would hope they would read this and recognize their breech, but I doubt they can or would. PARENTS, if you have young kids do not take them to venues where they destroy the experience for others. Take them to a circus, to the ice show, to a Disney movie. I won't go there, it would run their experience. Grandparents, want to spend time with your grandkids?  Babysit!

When is the right age to take a kid to a show, and what should a parent do if they are misbehaving? What should the person being annoyed do?

This is an example of what we saw.  Was it right for children under 10?

Related articles

• French Children Don't Throw Food... (ameliatorode.typepad.com)
• CIRCA Performance at The Westbrook Performing Arts Center Feb. 2, 2012 (thevalleyvoice.org)